it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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