Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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