remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
