it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I will pee on everything he values.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize