yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
