thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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