people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
