i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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