he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
