sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
