Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
too bad you live with your parents still
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
