you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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