It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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