Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
