But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
