I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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