hotel room ftw
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
