Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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