But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize