he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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