I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
