literally had 100 drinks last night.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
