clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
