I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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