There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
