you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
