I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
