The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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