Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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