haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
