You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
