You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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