The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
