I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
