i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
