i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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