he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
