are you still at the devil's house?
look no pants
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
