With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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