You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
