in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
