So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
