YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
