I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
