I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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