Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
