On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
