I CAN MOONWALK!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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