he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize