a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
