I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
