Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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