just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Success! We fucked roommates!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
