did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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