just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
