Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish i was in the wii world.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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