question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
