I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
