Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize