Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
