I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
