2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
