soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
