when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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