Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
