i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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