Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
