The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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