He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize