Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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