my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
and she was petting her beer can
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
