You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
