well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize