I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
