How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
