Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
