So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
