i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
