$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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