The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
