I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
