I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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